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| 02:05am 08/08/2006 |
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i dont even know man,.
im so lost in my life its amazing,.
im sorry to all my friends, the ones that really care, im sorry for the lack of communication.
i hope everyones ok.
if you really love this nigga youre glad im finally happy.
my life is good.
(plus-es)
money
love
happiness
(negatives)
missing the people who care the most about me. |
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| 06:26pm 11/07/2006 |
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hi,
iam alive, if you were wondering.
sorry for the lack of communication,
theres something so fulfilling to me about dropping off the face of the planet.
i really like life again, its nice.
anyways,
give me a call sometime ya'll
(i dont have some of your numbers)
<3 |
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| 10:37pm 26/05/2006 |
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*i wrecked my moms car today.
well it wasnt my fault a guy cut in front of me and slammed into my driver side.
michelle and i were ok,
however it still fucking sucks.
my life is amazing.
things are so wonderful,
i havent been this happy in forever.
i dont want it to end,
ever.
and i promise it wont.
other things that happened today;
-bubble tea
-shopping
-WEED
-swimming
-nap attack
could you ask for anything else? |
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| 06:37am 24/05/2006 |
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life is good.
as perfect as can be.
welcome home. |
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| 05:04pm 20/05/2006 |
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buh. |
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| 06:39am 20/05/2006 |
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"my witness is the empty sky"
i can drive again,
i got my lisence back.
weird.
only 2 more full days until michelle gets here.
i cant wait.
i definetly dont want to work today.
buh. |
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| 05:59pm 18/05/2006 |
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i hate control issues |
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| 06:23am 18/05/2006 |
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personal search for god. |
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| 09:24pm 17/05/2006 |
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as of late my favorite past time has to be,
getting stoned and listening to this record,
it will seriously change your life.
other news-
michelle will be here on tuesday.
im excited, ive missed her very much.
it will be so wonderful to spend night after night getting lost in the television with her.
laughing and playing,
i love it
i love her.
i need some new shoes
i need a guitar
i need white wall tires for my bike
i need some more beer
im in need. |
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| 06:33am 17/05/2006 |
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i have things to look forward to,
my mind wont stop wandering,
im going nuts,
i just want to be happy.
a lifetime of sadness, neglect, and hurt.
ive hurt others as well,
i regret it.
ive paid dues.
i just want to be happy.
please god make it happen.
"Good times for a change
See, the luck I've had
Can make a good man
Turn bad
So please please please
Let me, let me, let me
Let me get what I want
This time
Haven't had a dream in a long time
See, the life I've had
Can make a good man bad
So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows, it would be the first time
Lord knows, it would be the first time" |
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| 05:43am 17/05/2006 |
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i just cant get rid of these images and thoughts. |
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| 05:38am 17/05/2006 |
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"iam a man of constant sorrow"
these bad dreams drive me insane,
im scared. |
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| 04:25pm 15/05/2006 |
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i might try and act it out, but im really still just a little boy.
please forgive me,
i do love you. |
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| 06:36am 15/05/2006 |
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burning the bridges.
im so exhausted,
its time to focus on what matters.
work on things and be happy.
no more games.
i love you. |
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| 09:01pm 14/05/2006 |
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dear me,
stop pulling your hair out.
take a deep breath.
think happy thoughts.
everything is going to be fine.
love,
yourself. |
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| 01:45pm 14/05/2006 |
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thats my baby.
i ride everyday, its my new drug.
im addicted.
michelle is coming here on the 23rd.
things are going to be nice.
i miss her alot.
my mind is everywhere. |
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| 03:56pm 06/05/2006 |
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it's official
i own a vespa
it will be delivered to my house monday or tuesday.
stay tuned for pictures.
^___^
in other news;
things between michelle and i have been great,
this makes me happy. i love that girl, i cant help it!
i have a new cellphone, so call it 1(228)424-5214
work is going great
i get payed tuesday, time for some new shoes!!!!!!! |
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| 03:59pm 04/05/2006 |
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finally a day off,
i need the time to tinker around the house,
catch up on sleep,
and write.
i cant pretend like i dont.
i miss her.
"I need more holes to breath from
Went under the knife I contemplated freedom
Put it all out on the operating table
Touching on some rubber ducks I played double dutch with some jumper cables
Then out broke like the water it started rushing
All of a sudden there she was gone
I’m the fall guy
She’s a sight for sore eyes
I’m in labor all night until a new day is born
Curved globe
Road taste like
Eyes rolled, dice
Earth pulls a 180 when I look into her snake eyes
I’m not afraid of dying
Pieces of me die all the time
Keep digging (keep digging)
I leave the dirt to the experts
Who push the boundaries of pleasure till the sex hurts
I hold today with a death grip
And play hard to get with tomorrow so as not to look so fucking desperate
Face sweaty
Hands unsteady
Blood pressure off the charts
My heart hangs heavy
Untreated wounds though repeated moods are seeds who develop in your needy womb
Your feeble ill cocoon
I don’t grieve for many people
And I don’t mourn the pieces killed in you
My injection must have been lethal
Pick up the shovel love; you’ve got some digging to do" |
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| we are a trainwreck. |
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| 04:14pm 03/05/2006 |
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you are an awe inspiring creature,
ive never met someone quite like you,
that was what made me love you.
and i always will.
however,
our current and recurrent situation is the fatal blow for our relationship,
its why were not together,
we cant trust, &&
we cant be happy.
and im sorry for everything that i had done to lead up to this.
and i feel that if we keep going,
pretending,
hopelessly hoping,
that things will get better,
were going to throw what we have left,
up in flames.
i dont want that,
id rather have a little piece of youre heart,
a block of wonderful memories in your brain,
than have nothing at all.
im just sad because we dont know how to be friends,
we never got the chance to just be friends.
it hurts us, because it drives us insane with jealousy, and anguish.
and we end up screaming at each other,
hah, we never were good at talking.
i hate it. |
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| 05:41pm 02/05/2006 |
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im becoming a work a holic.
i love my job, i love the people i work with.
they make me laugh more than ive laughed in the last year.
and now im part of the opening crew, i work at 730am tomorrow.
definetly dont mind.
tonight i might hang out with this kid josh from work.
who knows.
im content with life.
things are better.
i feel great. |
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myfolsomblues's journal